I have the attention span of a…. well something with a very short attention span. However I watched this clip last night of Kathy Griffin discussing binging…and I cried. Not the gross ugly cry, but the cry of “ah, I get that… that’s exactly how I feel” cry. It is an act of rebellion, a control issue, and much more.

Watch this, it’s good. I’m a binge-er. Life gets complicated and then I hide my food not only around people in my life but to myself as well. And then I recognize that I’m human and I messed up and I get to start over… or I don’t and I wallow for a few days lament to myself that I’m not ever going to climb out of this rut and then eventually snap out of it or fake it til I make it.

But for today, I can make responsible decisions and I can take it one meal at a time. And tomorrow I can wake up and do the same… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

I’m well versed in “dietology” in fact I would consider myself a “dietologist” and yes I am snickering making these words up as I write from my corner at Starbucks this morning.

I have been on, dabbled in, researched almost every diet out there. Being a weigh watchers drop out at the early age of 10ish I have been on and off different things for years. I know I feel best when I am following the Paleo life and I’m not sure if that is because of the celiac issues that plague my family and will likely play a part in my life someday or not.  I also love the lack of allergies when I cut out dairy among other positives.

Anyway back to eating the rainbow. My wiser sis and I have been doing a light juice experiment. Juicing mainly for breakfast and lunch and eating a reasonable dinner. I feel good and am contemplating doing an actual juice fast.

There are simple guidelines shared here on Jointhereboot.com , sorry about the funky link, I’m human. I like the list of eating the rainbow daily. It makes sense and is something I think I would remember and be able to follow.

There are other tips I get.

I eat most of my meals on salad plates at home, and I don’t get 2nds and I don’t overfill my plate.

I try to drink a good amount of water before caving for my coffee.

I write before I bite and scribble before I nibble….

What are tips you follow? Do you have a tip that you try to follow in your healthy eating goals? Whats the craziest thing you have heard?

It’s hard to realize and name the hurdles in life. I mean the real ones. The ones you place on yourself and that ones that you let define you again and again.

I am my own hurdle. Time and time again I think that this is it and I’m going to succeed. I’m not saying that I am a total failure or that I’m not in a “good” place. But why settle for good where there is great to be had?

I have been overweight for the majority of my life. Blame it on genes, pcos, stress, or anything else possible. But that doesn’t make me any more or less overweight. I KNOW what I want in my life and yet I’m so scared of not achieving and getting it that I just coast… and yet still don’t achieve and get it… ironic no?

This year is already amazing and I’m tired of struggling against myself for myself. I’m tired of listening to the naysayers, even though their voices of doubt are small, their echos are vast.

So, Here is to a year of jumping the hurdles, and when I fall and end up with dirt in my mouth and scrapes on my kness… Here is to a year of also getting up again and learning that while it may hurt for a while, the finish is always sweet.

or also known as things I’m loving right now.

As we continue to delve into the new year, there are tools I’m using to help me keep up to task. I thought I would share a few of these things this week with you.

or as I like to call it, I’m trying to wrap my brain around my life right now and don’t want to blog about the icky stuff… so instead I will tell you about somthing else blog post.

I have two big goals right now. 1. Save money and 2. Lose pounds.

One thing that is helpful to  both goals is Eating at home more. About a year ago one of my best friends kept raving about emealz and how she and her husband were saving money. So I finally gave it a try and I LOVE it.
SAVE TIME AND MONEY WITH E-MEALZ MEAL PLANS

Every week I download the weekly meal plan and I customize it to Leland’s and my needs. I know he won’t eat the veggies and I know that I like smaller portions but it works for us. We started out with the Publix for 2 plan, but switched it to the Kroger for a family plan.  I have 7 choices for the week and even though I modify the amount, there are usually left overs for lunch for dinner later in the week. I loved the Publix plan, I found it to be a little more creative, but the Kroger plan does run cheaper overall, I also tried the ALDI plan for a little bit and it was probably the thriftiest. I would like to eventually switch to the Whole Foods or Gfree plan, but that’s going to be after I take care of a few financial goals.

Calorie Counter is proving to be super helpful. I have been on EVERY or almost every diet known to mankind. But I have never counted calories before. I am using this http://caloriecount.about.com/ program right now. It’s very basic and I find the search feature on my phone pretty simple. I also have used Spark People, My fitness pal, and a few others on my phone and so far I like this one the best.

For Christmas Leland gifted me a Soda Maker, specifically this one

Genesis Soda Stream

and I LOVE it. I can drink sparkling water or try out the variety pack that came with the maker. I like the diet energy drink, it reminds me of my favorite diet rock star. Also I like that I can make him soda to take to work and I can use the more natural flavorings while cutting back on the not so great stuff. Although in complete disclosure, I know I need to cut back on the fake sugar stuff… but baby steps people, baby steps. Also, the C02 containers are exchangeable at Bed Bath and Beyond and I can use the regular 20% off coupons for an even better discount.

So, whats keeping you on track this year? Any good resources to share.

*complete disclosure. I don’t monetize my blog, the only referral link on here is to emealz. All thoughts are mine, trust me I would tell you if I didn’t like something.

Does it feel like 2011 just started?

I made my list of goals for this year. And I know that it’s hokey and that I’m better than resolutions… but maybe since I am a hopeful half ful type of girl, this year I will actually accomplish my goals. Maybe?

I wrote down on paper 2 nights ago what I wanted to accomplish for this year. I want to focus on 13 different things…. cause 12 would have been too typical. But this year I have broken them down into sections. Realistic, reaching and big. Okay here I will show you what I mean.

1. Realistic – Read 12 books – use my book club books for guidance

Big – Read 50 – last year I hit 46/48 , and used Goodreads.com to document my process. I also want to do better about reviewing what I read and what I think.

2. Realistic – Run a mile

Reaching – Run a 5k

Big – Run a half marathon

3. Realistic – Pay my bills

Reaching – save a month of expenses

Big – Have 3 month of expenses saved up

4. Realistic – Hike Mt. Leconte in less time than less year

Reaching – Finish in 5 hours

Big – Give Leland a run for his money

5. Realistic – Cook half the time

Reaching – 5 nights a week

Big – Eat out once a week

6. Realistic – go on an honest to goodness vacation

Reaching – Vegas or NYC

Big – use our passports

7. Realistic – Organize my home

Reaching – Paint Leland’s Place

Big – Install new flooring

8. Realistic – Save for a car

Big – Pay cash for a GOOD car

9. Realistic – Be Healthy

Reaching – Lose 50 pounds

Big – Lose a hundred

10. Realistic – Wear makeup

Reaching 3/5 days a work week have makeup and hair done for work

Big 5/7 days and include a weekend day

11. Realistic – Be on time at work with files and case management

Reaching – Be ahead of the curve

Big – meet monthly numbers and then save my bonus for financial goals

12. Realistic – Sleep More

Reaching – Sleep at least 7 hours and drink water for the day

Big – Sleep 8 hours and cut back on coffee (don’t get alarmed, just cut back and not out. I know myself)

13. Realistic – Try harder with relationships

Reaching – Return texts and don’t ignore calls

Big – Write and Mail letters to friends

Big – Play more with Leland – appreciate him more and not take him as for granted.

So… that’s a lot I know. What’s your biggest goal this year? Did you set up things you want to do?

Here is your obligatory 2011 recap post. I know you were waiting with baited breath for it… right?

2011 rang in while I was standing in the middle of Broadway in downtown Nashville. I watched a guitar dropped while on the phone with my boyfriend while he was at work. It was a moment that I knew 2011 was going to be more magical. And it has been.I also rediscovered my love of bacon and sushi. I left behind my veg ways. Sorry but it’s not been a bad thing for me.

January I worked and played like a boss. I sowed a few more wild seeds and partied a little too much.

February I celebrated Lelands 27th birthday and had a very sweet valentines. I survived snow storms. People not in the south… don’t scoff. We take our dustings seriously.

March marked 5 official years at work.

April must have been pretty busy. I didn’t blog and fell away from writing for a bit. Lost my way a touch. It happens.

May I prepared to move again. I know I’m a gypsy at heart and always will be.

June I moved into a rental house… Not sure it was one of my best housing moves. the house itself is great, however I have learned that I am NOT a yard person. I think a condo is much more my speed.

July I turned the dreaded 29. Mourned the final Harry Potter. Hiked LeConte, even though my time sucked, I was amazed I was able to go up that mountain. I even ran around Gatlinburg after climbing down the next day. I realized and learned that while I may not be my desired size. I am stronger than I think I am. I can do more than I give myself credit for. Kinda amazing.

August when with the boyfriend and his parents to the beach. I rode my first motorcycle. I also texted from the back of a motorcycle and gave everyone mild heart attacks back home. I felt refreshed and like I really had a needed mental break.

September I discovered that I LOVE eating Paleo and I’m making plans to return to that way of life. Enjoyed seeing Grace Potter in concert with last minute tickets. And I watched my big sis finish a half marathon. Amazing. Also started going to the seasons Live on the Green Series. Loved hearing KT Rhodes with the Nashville Symphony.

October I had a month long war with gunk. I even missed 2 1/2 days of work. UGH I hated it. I will try the flu shot thing next year and see if that helps at all. I went to live on the green with Leland and at from food trucks. total win right there. My favorite was Here come the Mummies. Great Show.

November I negotiated 4 different Thanksgiving dinners while sticking to a somewhat restrictive diet. It worked and I lost 4 pounds that week. Went to the symphony and enjoyed the free tickets from Goodwill.

December has been a blur! And it’s been great.

If you’ve stuck through all this, you’re a champ. 2011 has been amazing. And I’m excited about 2012. I feel like it will be even better. I guess I will start with goals tomorrow… when it’s actually 2012. I can’t wait.

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I had a plan yesterday. I am after all one of those girls who always has a plan, a schedule and an end goal. I have been working on Christmas gifts for the past few weeks and some of mine are of the alcohol variety. I’m not comfortable bringing those to work, so I enlisted the boyfriend to help me play Santa Sunday night. I checked with a few friends to make sure they would be home and tied a few ribbons and signed a few gift tags and was ready to go.

We made two deliveries and Leland had mentioned wanting to eat dinner in Nashville, somewhere different. He told me this while he was at work so I, in my planning ways, had sent him a few links to local places that I thought would be fun to try. He never really responded to any, so I just figured he had something specific in mind. For our anniversary I had “gifted” him a nag/hassle free trip to Dicks Last Resort and I thought he was going to cash that one in.

As we pulled into downtown Leland finally asked me “where should we park?” Still oblivious I asked where we were going. To which he responded TPAC…. he surprised me with tickets to the NUTCRACKER!!!! We parked at 6:58 and the show started at 7…. I’m certain the Occupy Nashville residents loved us running across the plaza… We got in and sat down pretty much right on time.

Honestly the night couldn’t have been more perfect. We watched and I was transported back to the days growing up when I just knew I was going to grow up and be a ballerina… now a ludicrous thought. Really, dancing is not a skill I possess. As we left we walked back through the Sheraton where we parked and I asked the front desk agent to snap this fantastic pic of us. I think it’s my new favorite.

After the Show

Saturday, Mom, Deidre, and I journeyed to downtown Franklin for a Dickens Christmas. I had heard about the street festival the year previously and like all good intentions completely forgot about it. Luckily Mom saw it advertised and as I get my love of all things quirky and crafty from her, she was game to go as well.

Girls on the Square

I have to say the city of Franklin knows how to put on a festival. We were able to park in the free garage after waiting just a few minutes in a line. Our patience won out and we were rewarded with a spot. From there we were able to walk onto the street and into the big Christmas Crowd.

Carriage Rides Around the Square

There were some great vendors both local and handmade. And what I really liked was that most of it seemed, at least to me, that it was indeed handmade and not just junk. Many artists were there representing themselves and happy to show you the work. I wish I had more pictures of the booths, but it was a little hectic. I really enjoyed talking to a wood worker from Gatlinburg. I would love to show you what I purchased… but I can’t give away Christmas clues. :)

Pleasant Bike Rider Gent

One of my favorite parts, besides getting quality family time, were the people in fantastic costumes. This guy was sweet enough to pose for me for a quick moment. The cast of the local production of a Christmas Carol were walking around and interacting down in front of the local gem of an old school theater. My personal favorite was Marley! He was great posing. I felt like I was back at Disney world asking for pictures and autographs. It also doesn’t hurt that “A Christmas Carol” is one of my all time favorite Christmas stories, I love that Scrooge after being an unhappy and miserable person is given another second chance and grabs it and runs with it.

Marley warning us to change our ways.... nicely of course.

I had such a good time on Saturday that Sunday the boyfriend and I went again when he got off work. I wanted him to see the coolness that was Franklin at Christmas. We were able to see Scrooge, Cratchet, Tiny Tim, and my favorite of the day Father Christmas – old school. I wish I had taken more pictures but  I was caught up in enjoying the moment and being present. It’s a hard line to walk, wanting to capture moments but also wanting to be in the moment.

Deidre, Mom, and Me

This was  a certain win for a Nashville nearly free adventure. Mom and I shared a $3 bag of Roasted Chestnuts from an old school street vendor. Very cool. Free Parking. Free entertainment with strolling actors and lots of music.

Cons: I would have said cold, but it was actually a very nice day. Walking if you don’t do that well. Packed area if you don’t do crowds well.

Pros: Family Friendly, Free Parking, Live Music, No cost for entrance

What should this blog be about?

Weight Loss? Nashville? My life and happenings?

Do I need to focus on one thing or do you think that it can be a mismash? And more importantly is mismash a word and did I use it correctly in a sentence….?

I feel like I’ve been a tad all over the place here lately, but perhaps that is because my life is also a tad all over the place.

Any and all ideas/thoughts/suggestions are welcome, within reason. :) I mean I should agree with you afterall. Just kidding.

I’m on this somewhat restrictive diet and for the most part I’m making it work. But, not everyone gets it and is supportive. I’m learning ways of getting around the awkwardness but still it’s tough to be so odd sometimes. I am also learning that not every event requires going out to eat. But that’s probably another issue.

I have on average 2 cheat meals a week. These aren’t meals when I go crazy or I eat a box of donuts, but I do have a taste of something that I am craving. A taste.

But the people who are supportive are amazing. I have friends who will eat their lunch in my office instead of going out. Then we can both have what we want. My life long best friend and her husband had the boyfriend and me over for Thanksgiving and she went to a lot of effort to let me know how she prepared different things and what was in them. Much of what she had was modified so I could have it as well. It was beyond sweet and just another reason why I love her.

I am also hit with temptation daily. Not so much junk but I fail because of my love of beverages, not alcohol so much as coffee… hello name of blog…. I could probably easily drink my calories daily and be fine with that.

I’m also learning that the holidays are horrible for cheats. I love to bake and make Christmas presents for others. I have had to alter my game plan a tad this year. Instead of tons of goods I am making body scrubs and lotions and the ONE food item is Peppermint Hot Fudge Sauce. A bit scaled down this year and I and my sanity are okay with that. :)