I was having coffee with a friend a few weeks ago and she had found prom pictures from back in the day – 10 years ago almost. And she said she would bring them next time we met, later that day she dropped a pic off at my office and there I was. Still overweight, but beautiful, honest to goodness pretty. I went home and looked at other pictures from senior year and junior year and the start of college and in all those pics I am smiling, or talking, or drinking coffee (and all three at times) and I look so stinking happy.
Except – I remember that time. I was self conscious and uncomfortable and wished I was tiny and thin like my friend who tried on a size zero while dress shopping and it was big on her. ugh.
I had heard so many times during then the infamous lines “you would be so pretty if…” typically followed by loose a few pounds, wore makeup, dressed better. Or my favorite line ” you have such a pretty face, your skin is so nice” too bad the rest of you sucks. I added on the last part of that.
I wasted all that time playing the if only game. I’ve talked about that before but really I am finished with that. Now, no worries, I am still a fan of planning the future but I’m also gonna enjoy the here and now. It really needs to be about the journey and not the destination but honestly aren’t they one in the same?
Archive for » January, 2010 «
I have a new favorite comfort food. I love french onion soup, but haven’t tried to make it before namely because the rich flavor comes from beef broth. This is super easy just takes some cutting and stirring mainly.
This is the recipe for 2 servings and these are the classic smaller servings, salad makes a great addition.
2 tablespoons butter – I have used both smart balance and earth balance and both have held up well.
2 large onions diced – Man my eyes teared up like never before cutting these, but it pays off
Salt and Pepper – I added more pepper and used just a bit of natural salt
2 cups water and a splash if needed
Garlic – I know I know, but I used a smidge of garlic paste – Since I cook for one person I don’t keep a lot of garlic around and it’s easier to keep the paste instead.
1 tablespoon of sherry vinegar – I just eyeballed it
1 tablespoon of molasses – Same, just eyeball it
2 slices of baguette – I actually used brown rice bread and thought it did really well – better if toasted first
2oz or slices of melting cheese. I used swiss last time and it turned out well. I wasn’t able to find traditional gruyere in my local grocery store.
For just the two servings I actually just used fry pan. I have a small kitchen and I am the dishwasher so using a big pot isn’t often practical. But if you double it you will want to use a stock pot.
Melt butter on medium high, just melted – not browned. Add in onions and salt and pepper. Stir well and saute until golden – about 12-15 minutes. Cover pot and reduce to medium low heat. Cook covered until onions are soft – stirring occasionally about 20 minutes.
During this time is a good time to prep your bread and cheese, ready to pop into the broiler. I turn on the broiler right as I start the next bit so it’s nice and warm for the bread.
Remove lid and raise heat back up to medium high. Scrap up any browned bits at the bottom. Slowly add in water, garlic, sherry vinegar and molasses. Bring up to a boil and then reduce heat to simmer and cook for 10 minutes more.
While this is simmering you can do one of two things. usually this soup is dished into oven proof bowls and then topped with bread, cover the bread with cheese and broil until melted and lightly browned. If you don’t have oven proof bowls, which I discovered the first time I made this… just broil the bread with the cheese and add it to the top of bowls as it’s dished into the bowls.
no idea what to say tonight. I’m really behind on here. Lost a friend this weekend and am still processing. But I’m so thankful for my family…. will add more later but lets do something random instead.
Things I am currently obsessed with:
- Early morning workouts
- tea, tea, tea – loving a good cuppa
- writing – I’m back in the habit and I have ideas flying all the time. need to remember to carry a notebook with me
- British TV Shows (netflix is only aiding this problem)
- My apartment – it’s a little home and very cozy to boot
- NettiPot – haha – enough said
- Good hair days – and making the most of them
- cooking at home, trying to master the smallest kitchen I have ever had
- Local radio
- lists….
Love this song right now. It’s one that I would listen to several times in a row. There isn’t a cool video with it, but just listen for a bit.
So, living alone… kinda nice. I didn’t think I would be a fan, thought I would be bored in fact, but it’s actually nice. Here are some of the things learned, in a good way.
- Don’t have to worry about the state of your pj’s
- Alarm clock going off is only yours and not someone else’s who forgot to turn it off
- You can cook what you want and not worry that someone hates the smell of brussel sprouts (my favorite food, odd I know)
- Toliet paper – if you don’t buy it, you can’t “borrow” some of your roommates
- It’s not someone elses turn to do the dishes
- or clean the bathroom
- or take out the trash
- Don’t have to share the tv remote
- When you’re sick you don’t have to worry about making someone ill
- but then there is no one to to the sprite and cracker run for you
- so you realize how priceless the people who bring you things are
I am enjoying the time alone and I think I’m learning much about myself and what I like and don’t like at all. I can see why some people start living alone and never want to cohabitate again. And then I can see why some live alone and are never there – because one more night without someone to share the day with seems endless and makes you want to scream.
But it’s okay, I think I’m walking a fine line between the two. I stay pretty busy and I am one of the lucky one’s with family and friends who are always around. It makes me appreciate both sides of the fence so much more.
A few years ago I sat in a crowded theater and watched a movie entitled “Hotel Rwanda” it was heartbreaking and inspiring and there are images that have haunted me since and lines that have resounded in my head. There is this moment in the film with the Protagonist makes a plea to journalists to record and show the horrible events taking place in his country and surely the people who see what he records will be able to help… the journalist responds in effect that there is no point, sure it’s horrible but people will see the images and will say “oh that’s horrible” and will turn back to their dinners and will forget. Of course I paraphrase but you get the idea.
Now there is another horrible event that has taken places through our televisions and our blogs and our twitter accounts. We have seen live feeds, and have seen grief stricken pleas and horrible images.Haiti, and place that already needed help has been devastated by an earthquake. And I do mean devastated in one of the worst ways.
“Hotel Rwanda” was a movie about a genocide and the events in Haiti have been brought about by an earthquake, so I do get that it’s a bit different. But we can DO something, and I’m not saying that we all need to pack our bag and take a flight to hand out water – really they don’t need that, but we can do other things. There are easy ways to donate – you can even text a donation that benefits the Red Cross and just adds a small fee to your cell phone bill, instead of lunch out one day this week you can go and donate blood. In Nashville there is an organization called Project Cure that sends medical supplies to countries and you can volunteer your time or money or items… or all of the above. I’m selfish and I know that, but if we all do a little bit, then as a whole we can do so much together.
Tonight I participated in my church’s chili cookoff. We started setting up at 2pm and the event began at 6… luckily our group finished pretty quick and that left time for coffee and Shoes!
Why does it seem to be an inborne trait that as a girl, I simply love shoes. I don’t wear many different types, but if I was more graceful and able to stand heels – it would be on.
SO anyway back to the cookoff – it was wonderful. Our class and great group didn’t win, but we had a delish and lovely time in fellowship and all that. It’s always interesting to see how groups work together. I feel as though we weren’t in to win it and instead we were ready to have a wonderful time. I do have to admit though, our chili was pretty awesome and while I’m not one of the ones who prepared it, I was very proud.
Earlier today I spent the morning/afternoon with my wise older sister and her little punk bug, who was delightful and just fun to watch. We went to my favorite grocery stores (is it really sad to have favorite stores?) Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods and had lunch. There is something special about time spent together, especially when you realize how busy the other person is.
I just watched Season 4 the Doctor Who Children in Need special… sheesh gets me everytime…Something about this show just resonates with me. And I realize that I’m special in that statement alone. There are worse things to be in deep heart with.
I am ready to hit the gym again, I have new shoes and will hopefully no longer embarrass Finn with the worn-out-ness of the previous pair. I have a friend who runs 3 times a day, which I think is crazy/and cool/all at the same time.
Okay, Goodnight it’s way past my bed time… and I’m tired.
My beautiful niece, Amelia, runs hot and cold with me. Somedays she reaches those little arms out to me and I feel like I have done something right in the world as I hold her. Then most days she ignores me, snears at me and generally pretends I don’t exist. I convinced myself early on that it’s because Donita and I sound creepily the same in our vocal pattern and since we look nothing alike she thinks it’s creepy.
Tuesday I went out to Donita’s for lunch as she and Amelia were home for the day under the weather. I walk in and Amelia lights up at the sight of her Papaw. She laughs and loves on him… I walk over and she gives me the silent treatment. I try to get the little girl to give me 5… nothing… she ignores me. Which is special b/c she is sitting in a chair belted in and can’t go far/anywhere. I do the only thing I can think of that a under two year old will “get” I stink my tongue out at her. It’s an impulse and a childish one at that. Amelia giggles and screws up her nose and laughs… Punk.
Tomorrow will be the end of 4 years of something. Kinda a big day, kinda over it.
that is all.
It’s Saturday again and I’m at home enjoying what I pray is only a quick bout of food poisoning, yuck. My “so amazing she is scary” older sis is famous for finding the good part of everything. So here goes: I’m thankful for food poisoning because I have been looking for a quick weightloss start and this is it. Ha, how is that for gross? Seriously there is nothing like not feeling well to make you realize how quiet your world is. But lets not dwell on that, it’s a hole that I’m not willing to jump into right now.
I went to Rgate today and was lucky enough to grab lunch with a friend who just returned from London. She had (of course) an amazing time and (of course) I was envious. Not just of her trip, London will still be there when I get there, the way she enjoyed herself. Sounds like a legendary trip.
My sister on her blog describes my bog as “real” I think that’s an amazing compliment. One that in 2010 I will hope to continue living up to.
I can’t get warm, but my legs are hot… odd and off I know. So I’m off to rehydrate and I hope you feel better than I do. SO there ya go.
Right now I am checking like a mad woman at the progress of our very own snow storm in middle tennessee (meaning, nothing to write home about, although it does look pretty). I worked out last night and did the Jillian 30 Day Shred, it kinda rocked and I feel as though I did decently.
Just finished my first book of the year Diet Girl . I seriously loved it and highly recomend the read to anyone trying to stay healthy. The author is frank and honest about her own struggles and learning to live life without excuses. There were moments in it that I wanted to highlite and past to my mirror.
So the roads are actually getting slick and stuff around Ville of Nash, but so far in Field of Spring the main roads are fine and you just need to be aware and not drive like an idiot.
I want to write about some serious stuff there are some pretty big happenings in my life right now, but I’m not ready for that yet… how do you like that for a teaser of things to come? So anyway….
Can I say on a sidenote that I’m in serious like with my crazy 4am gym buddy Finn there haven’t been many people who I would willingly meet at the crack of dawn in the name of good health. I’m glad she is one of those people.
