Archive for » June, 2010 «
I have decided that I’ve been a slacker, sure I’m losing weight and working kinda hard, but am I doing enough? I could easily do more and should be. This isn’t a one day event this is the rest of my life and unless I get a handle now, the changes I make will only be temporary and I will be right back to this place…plus the weight I have already shed and then some.
I don’t want that for myself. I’m better than that.
I finally get that this is MY life and while I made the decisions to get here it wasn’t overnight. It was gradual and eventually life altering. So why do I think I’m changing overnight? It’s not gonna happen that way… never will.
So lets start with this week.
Bootcamp 3x
Gym 4x
Runs 2x 1.5 miles
Drink my water daily
Food – being a vegetarian means I should actually EAT vegetables – so yea. there ya go.
Anyway I love this clip and while I am not declaring bankruptcy I am declaring stuff.
Life is pretty good this week. I kinda ran a mile… only had to pause for traffic… I’m getting better and am going to get better.
I probably look more like this kid, but it’s a good place to start.
I recieved a text Sunday night from a close work friend. You know the kind of work friend who while you’re in the same office you are inseperable, but once you move offices or change jobs you generally lose touch little by little. We are actually better than that and have occiasional long phone gabs and catch a movie together as able. It’s just funny because when we have done the big stuff together. I was at her marriage, she was there for my divorce. I Was one of the first people she told when she was pregnant and she held my hand during a rough medical scare. I love this girl and her family has my number on speed dial.
So back to this text. She sends me one that just asks for prayer for her BRAIN surgery tomorrow. BRAIN SURGERY!!!!!!! People I know don’t have brain surgery. People I know fight the weight loss monster, have the occasional sports or work out injury, but not life altering things. I shot out a tweet the next morning asking for prayer and as of right now she is doing great and I will go spend some time with her this afternoon.
How often do I take my health for granted? How ofen have I chosen the easy way and detered from my workout? This is something I CAN and AM changing. I can’t stop brain surgery from happening, but I can reach my 5k goal. I can’t stop something major from happening, but I can make small changes that add up to huge results. This isn’t brain surgery, this is doable.
There are a group of women I consider my “grownup” friends.
Getting our toes did
I think Donita is the cutest pregnant woman I know, hands down.
Actually I have sorta stole borrowed them from Donita… don’t tell her mkay?
Only moments before Kristin had practically fallen in my lap, super funny.
Saturday was a day where the stars aligned and we were all able to get together, share pedicures, lunch, cupcakes and lots of laughter.
I heart them… seriously.
Everyone eats the bottom first...right?
I have writers block right now.
I don’t know what to write or how to say it.
That makes my heart hurt a little.
Writing is what I do, I enjoy, I like….
Hopefully I will soon be over this odd funk.
But if I’m not, hang with me.
I’m trying.
I get tired of the stereotypes. I realize that they exist because there is some truth to them… but really?
I have been privy to a few conversations about divorce these past few weeks. And while I realize that I don’t usually talk about stuff like this on here… it’s my soapbox and I’m allowed to stand here for a few minutes.
My divorce has been final since January and we were separated over a year before it was final. So I have been single for a while and that is what it is. It doesn’t define me nor do I want it to. But there are misconceptions about divorce that really suck to put it plainly. Now people don’t say things to me in a mean manner, they are just speaking freely and I guess my age is a factor in the knowledge that I probably am not divorced. I married at a young age and we were only married 3 years before the separation. I am a child of divorced parents and always thought that once I married that would be it. I would be in that union forever. But sometimes God has a different plan than what you want for yourself. And while I’m not perfect I tried a lot.
I was recently in my Sunday school class where several people started lamenting the fact that people just throw away marriage and that they don’t take it seriously any more. I listened for a few minutes before I had to interject and give my opinion. Regardless of what you think and who you know that has been divorced I highly doubt the person went into marriage knowing that divorce would be an easy way out. It’s not. You lose friends, places to hang out, restaurants and songs. And regardless of how the friend that you know acts or behaves; unless you are with them in the middle of the night when they first realize they are really alone, you don’t know how the emotions are.
Maybe your neighbor jumped into a rebound relationship and you just think that’s tacky… but maybe you didn’t hear the silence that existed in her home for months and years and how hungry she is for companionship. It’s not up to you to condemn her for that. Maybe they are like me and have seemingly closed down from the outside world. But we all cope differently what I did worked for me at the time and I needed for protect myself for a little bit, while I figured out what I wanted in the next stage of life. It’s a tough world and I just want to navigate through it. It would be a little easier if we could give one another a little break.
I try really hard to not be one of “those” people… I’m vegetarian and have been for over a year and a half. I made the change suddenly and have been consistent since. But I do, for example, ask what green beans are cooked in. I live in the south and people love to cook things in chicken stock and bacon fat. I get that.
I don’t preach my views, but I don’t expect you to preach yours either. I am totally 100% cool with the fact that you eat meat, I think people should. I have made a choice for me personally that doesn’t include meat.
I do consume eggs and dairy and honey, if I didn’t I would consider myself vegan. But, since I do not limit myself there I am vegetarian.
The questions that I answer on a weekly basis that I love.
Do you eat chicken then? Do you eat fish? What about Sundays… you eat meat on Sunday’s then right? What about bacon….you still eat bacon right?….
Also, I love when people try to trick me up… well you know I bet you wear leather… so you can’t be a vegetarian. Or they check my plate to see if anything meat laden has been snuck onto it. I don’t eat bigmac’s in private. It’s cool, I would rather you just ask than assume.
This is a personal choice I have made for myself. Sometimes it’s harder and it’s definitely not convenient but I know the end result is worth any passing urge.
Today I’m skipping church, debating on Sunday School, I needed a break and have taken it. Not from church because I like church and I love Sunday School but I need a break from being over scheduled and meeting all expectations.
I uploaded all my pics from my cell phone last night to my laptop (there were over 900…yeeesh) and as I scrolled through a few I was amazed at some of the transformations I have made. Not just size wise, but personality wise. Health Wise. Emotionally. So lets revist a few pics and I will show you what I mean.
Hiding behind a baby is a great way to hide insecurity. No one looks at you… everyone looks at the child… SCORE! plus she is pretty cute.
I have just started walking here. Not really working out, but becoming more active and already able to do more. Hiding here behind chucks and doing the side pose to look cooler…ie smaller…. didn’t work.
Starting to do a lot more now. Went to see Lenny in concert… pretty sure he sang to me. Looking happier and feeling so much better, close to my actual age now.
Laughing at dad’s after hiking in the snow to visit. I brought us lunch and hung out for a few hours. All the roads were icy. Had a great walk and was super proud of myself. Still using something to cover up. Hoody’s are good for that. You can zip up and cover half your face.
Great hair day, participating in boot camp, working out regularly. Feeling like a life participator instead of a life watcher. Whoot!
I still have a long way to go. But now I’m learning that I can focus on this week and do what I can. I can focus on the next 5 pounds and then the next and then…
Also, I’m happier than I have been in a long time. And that’s not related to my size, cause that part still depresses me sometimes. But I can do more, go more, enjoy more. The next year is gonna rock… I know it.
I’m working on an epic post that will likely start my writing career and will make this little blog of 3 readers… I count myself twice… but until then I’m copping out and posting a video.
If you aren’t familiar with Improv everywhere you should be. I have been following the antics since college. My favorite so far has been “look up” and the mirror image subway ride.
This week has been odd. The holiday and then the store moving. I know it’s just life, but I need a slow day.
How is your week going? What’s going on in your world?
