So I have met most of my goals this week. The diet has been decent and the water has been consumed. I haven’t had any caffiene in in over 5 days. Which for me is a miracle in itself.

But today in bootcamp I was almost a big puddle of tears. I was in the middle of the gym floor doing side lunges from one side to the other and couldn’t breathe and there was moisture running down my face and I realized…

Life isn’t happening once I lose the x amount that I want to. Life is happening now. Each time I walk into a store and don’t worry about the next time I’m going to sit down.  Or when I go out to eat with friends and I am interested in the company instead of the portion sizes… this is it. I’m out there doing and experiencing.

Some of it hurts, but it’s because the mental AND physical bubble is slowly ebbing away. I don’t have a way to sheild myself like I once did. I don’t have a built in excuse that comes as readily. Now trust me I’m still trying to blame everything on my size and sure some times that’s a factor. But sometimes my attitude is lousy and I’m not the best version of myself period.

This is it guys, I’m getting one go around and I’m enjoying. I’m able to love my family, grow with my friends and start to live a life that I can be proud of…

Now that I got that all out of the way… I’m off to have a Friday night and all that entails… I hope.