I was having coffee with a friend a few weeks ago and she had found prom pictures from back in the day – 10 years ago almost. And she said she would bring them next time we met, later that day she dropped a pic off at my office and there I was. Still overweight, but beautiful, honest to goodness pretty. I went home and looked at other pictures from senior year and junior year and the start of college and in all those pics I am smiling, or talking, or drinking coffee (and all three at times) and I look so stinking happy.
Except – I remember that time. I was self conscious and uncomfortable and wished I was tiny and thin like my friend who tried on a size zero while dress shopping and it was big on her. ugh.
I had heard so many times during then the infamous lines “you would be so pretty if…” typically followed by loose a few pounds, wore makeup, dressed better. Or my favorite line ” you have such a pretty face, your skin is so nice” too bad the rest of you sucks. I added on the last part of that.
I wasted all that time playing the if only game. I’ve talked about that before but really I am finished with that. Now, no worries, I am still a fan of planning the future but I’m also gonna enjoy the here and now. It really needs to be about the journey and not the destination but honestly aren’t they one in the same?